im about as happy as oj after his trial
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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