dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
