we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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