last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
