i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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