Soap is not a condiment
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
