He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
