At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
