I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize