ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
What a dumb baby whore.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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