Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
