im gay
i know
yea but for you.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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