My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
