are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
