Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
