Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
