I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
