Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
