i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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