Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
