Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
