last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
So squirting runs in the family.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
