okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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