she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
