next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
