She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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