so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
