Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
