Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Congratulations! We have a period
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
