I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
