like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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