i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
My pussy is not your playground.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
