Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I want her autograph on my taint
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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