they need to just BURY HIM!
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
