In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
