ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
