He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
