We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
