Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
