Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
