I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
