i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
