Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
