dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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