I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
