i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
