i need an iv and a liver transplant
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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