If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
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