So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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