Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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