Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
