I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
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