Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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